This week is spring break for my kids. With spring break, comes the beloved MPACT spring break retreat. This is a time for the youth of our church to experience fun, fellowship and most of all, spiritual renewal. It is a great time that is anticipated by all….even me! I have had the privilege of heading up the food team for the last four years. It is the hardest job and the most rewarding job I have ever had. Planning the menus, shopping for the food and overseeing a total of 8 meals for 180 kids over a four day period kicks my behind every year….and every year I volunteer again. Why? Because I LOVE those kids!
But before we cook ourselves into a coma, we have to make the long…never ending drive to Huggins, Mo. Every year I think they’ve moved the camp grounds and forgot to tell us….its such a long trip….basicly we drive to the end of the earth and take a right….drive 14 more miles, take another right, drive another 9 miles and then we’re there…the camp grounds of James River Assemby!
Sunday morning, at the ungodly hour of 8:00, about half of the leadership team and volunteers head out early (about six hours before the three charter bus loads of kids) so that when they arrive the stage is set up and their evening meal is hot and ready.
The caravan is led by a huge U-HAUL truck. It’s chock full of stage, sound and lighting equipment, all of the food, props for the games, luggage and a grill….and its pulling a huge flatbed loaded with stage props. Following the U-HAUL is a 16 passenger van, a pickup truck, a few other vehicles and then mine. The trip is long…and somewhat boring…which forces us to eat….which forces us to drink…which forces us to stop and take potty breaks.
As you can imagine, it’s no easy task for such a large caravan of vehicles to stop every time somebody has to go potty…but when you gotta go, you gotta go. Right? We were about half way through our trip when I felt the urge…that last 32ouncer had gone straight through. We had already stopped twice and I really hated to ask them to stop again but I had no choice….if we didn’t stop soon there would need to be a “clean up” at mile marker 12!
After much squirming and trying to talk myself out of the urge, I decided to text the driver of the U-HAUL and the leader of the caravan, my good buddy Steve. I felt comfortable enough with Steve, sense he’s more like a brother, to tell him exactly what was going on. I wanted to make myself perfectly clear so he would sense the urgency and the seriousness of the situation. So I text him…real plain and simple,
“I have to pee!”
As soon as I sent the message I began to wait for his speedy response. Knowing he would respond and then pull over at the nearest spot.
We past an exit full of fast food restaurants and gas stations. Then we past a huge….perfectly good rest stop.
By now I was ready to pull over and go out behind a tree! Heck, I would have even used a construction site porta-potty!
When we past the last rest stop…..without resting or stopping….I thought….thats it! What is his problem? Didn’t I make myself clear enough? What’s not to understand about “I have to pee”? Why isn’t he stopping?
I picked up my phone to check my “sent” texts to make sure it was sent…there it was…”I have to pee!” in big bold letters sent to Steve…
Then, much to my horror and embarrassment, I realized what the problem was… I sent the text…proclaiming my urgent need to pee to a different Steve! The Steve I sent the text to works at the church on our facilities team!
He’s probobly sitting in church, trying to listen to the sermon, wondering why I’m texting him that I have to pee!
Why do I always get myself in these stupid messes? Could sombody please answer me that!
Anyway, I called the “right” Steve and told him what had happened….after much laughter he finally pulled over. Then I sent a disclaimer text to the other Steve that read…
“Sorry, wrong Steve.”
Might as well laugh about it….what’s done is done.