Last week Devin decided it was time for him to get some new glasses and he asked me to go help him pick some out. What would have taken me two hours took only five minutes, literally! Clearly he is not as picky as I. Afterwards we decided to go get a bite to eat. I didn’t really care where we went, all I knew was that I had to pee, and quick……..he wanted something cheap (go figure) so we decided that we would go to this hole in the wall mexican restaurant.

As we walked into the restaurant I quickly began to scan the place for the rest rooms….nothing. A gentleman greeted us and then walked us over to our booth…..still I didn’t see any restrooms. We sat down and a girl come over to take our drink orders.

Drinks? Dear lord, if I take even one swallow before I find a restroom, I thought, I’m gonna pee right here on this red vinyl bench!

I asked the young girl, “could you tell me where your restrooms are?” In broken english she said something and pointed to a dark hallway in the back of the room. Now I am here to tell you, I don’t like to use public restrooms and I really, REALLY don’t like to use nasty public restrooms so I was hoping they would be clean.

I got up and walked that, I GOTTA PEE REALLY BAD, walk. You know the one I am talking about. Real short, quick steps, holding your breath, praying to Jesus that you make it. With a look on your face that says move outta my way! When I rounded the corner I couldn’t believe what I saw. An out-of-order sign on the ladies restroom door!!! Unbelievable! As soon as I saw the sign a good ol’ country boy said, “uh oh! That’s not good, yours is outta order.” “Yes”, I said “I can’t believe this cause I really gotta go!” No sooner did I get that statement out of my mouth…..he opened the men’s restroom door and hollered, “anybody in here?” ….silence. While he was doing this I was thinking to myself, oh no….he’s gonna want me to go in the men’s restroom! Sure enough , he motioned with his hand, as if usher me in like a queen, for me to go on in and use the men’s restroom. He said, “come on in here and use ours, it’s empty.” He had to have seen the look on my face, you know the deer in the head lights look? He continued, “I will hold the door for ya and I promise I wont let anyone in.” A million things was running through my mind, as usual like…

Where the heck is Devin when I need him? Can I trust this guy to watch the door?

I don’t want to be rude and turn my nose up.

Should I trust him?

I really gotta go!

I bet that restroom is NASTY!

I could feel my neck getting all hot and sweaty…So I cautiously said, “are you sure? cuz I have never been in a mens restroom before.” With a gentle smile he said, ” sure, it’s probably cleaner that the ladies restroom anyway.” Well I knew that was a lie but it really didn’t really matter at this point because when you gotta go, you gotta go!

I took a deep breath and tippy toed my way in as he shut the door behind me. The first thing I saw was a urinal, gross! Guess what I saw next? The toilet….with the lid up! Why do they even have lids? They don’t use them! Then I got to thinking, this is the one place that it doesn’t matter if they leave the lid up or not….because it is just for men and men don’t care! I am sure they would have put the lid down and tidied up a bit if they had known I was coming in. Anyway, I knocked the lid down with my foot and went on with my business. I was trying to hurry because I was so afraid that the gentleman would leave his post and at any minute an man would walk in on me and think I was crazy or something. Then of course, once I was finished I had to wash my hands……I bet that guy was thinking, what is she doing in there? What is taking her so long?  My foods gonna get cold! I could have been in and out three times by now!

As I exited the room, there he stood, as if he was a body-guard, watching the door like a perfect gentleman. (he was my hero)I smiled and said, “thank you very much” as I walked past I said, ” somebody left the lid up” 😉

I was very grateful that day to have a restroom to use, even if it was the mens…..but I don’t EVER want to do it again!

Thanks for reading! I love you more than the cool side of my pillow!