Saturday morning, while Devin was putting a load of laundry in the wash, he noticed how old, rusty and rickety our washing machine was beginning to look. As he stood there, inspecting it, he said, “well, I guess this won’t last us much longer, it’s looking pretty bad.” As usual, Devin was right. The next morning, before church, I put a load of whites in the wash and then went on my merry way to get ready for church. After the wash cycle had finished and the spin cycle started, a horrible, grinding sound came from my washer. I opened the lid to find a tub of wet, nasty clothes, full of gray water and a washer that wouldn’t spin! Just as Devin had prophesied, my washing machine had bit the dust.

Now you may think that having a broken washer is all bad, and it sort of is but then again, it sort of ain’t! If my washer is broken, then this is the chance I’ve been waiting for. The chance to get the washer and dryer set of my dreams! For years, I have wanted a front loader, washer and dryer set….RED ONES…..with the storage units underneath! They have to be RED…It just makes me happy to think about it….and it makes my laundry room happy too! I could just invision a shiny, ruby colored, washer and dryer set (with the storage units underneath to hide all of my laundry stuff) standing majestically in my laundry room, just waiting to do my laundry….just like in the commercials!

I immediately, called Devin with the bad (good for me) news. After a short conversation and a service call from the appliance repair man, it was determined that we needed a new washing machine. The next day, we went to Lowes to take a look around and discuss what we wanted and what we could afford (that second part is where the trouble starts).

As we walked into the store and made our way back to the appliance department, Devin went straight toward the plain, white, square, cheap, standard top loading washers. The kind with the white plastic knobs that click really loud when you turn them. As I walked up, I saw them, as if a light from heaven shown down upon them, guiding me to Gods perfect will for my life…the washer and dryer set of my dreams…they were perfect! I ran my finger across the top, opened and closed the doors that sounded like they belonged on a Cadillac. I pushed the shiny chrome buttons and turned the non-clicking knobs. There must have been twenty different wash options, water temperature choices and load sizes to choose from. They were amazing! They will look so good in my laundry room, I thought. Perfect!

About that time, Devin walked into my fantasy bubble and burst it wide open with his un-wanted opinion. He said, “there’s a washer over there that’s only $499, do you wanna take a look at it?” “well”, I said, “no, not really, I can tell you what I REALLY want, I want a set….a matching set.” “A SET??” he said, “we don’t need a set! The dryer works just fine, doesn’t it?” “yes it does”, I said, knowing this was going to start an argument, “but I want a front loading washing machine….I have wanted one for years…and my little white dryer won’t look good sitting beside a big front loader….so….I want a matching set!”

Well, that just blew his mind! He couldn’t wrap his brain around the fact that I wanted a set when all we really needed was a washer PLUS the fact that I wanted the front loader type was just too much for him to handle.

He calmly began to explain to me that it was just silly to spend that much money on something that no one would ever see when we could spend half as much money and get something that worked just as good. He could tell I didn’t like his idea and that I was getting madder by the minute so, he tried to explain it in more detail….slower…..with more simple terms… I was an idiot….like I didn’t understand or something!

Oh I understand all right!!! I understand that he is a plain, white, square, loud clicking knob kind of guy and I’m a top of the line, shiny, red, non-clicking knob kind of girl! This has been a problem for 26 years and always will be I’m sure (unless I become rich and famous, then I will buy whatever I want!)

About that time a young man came over and said, with a smile, “y’all doing alright over here?” “nope!” I said, with one eyebrow raised and my jaw set. Devin gave a half smile and dropped his head as if to hid his face. The young man said, “well, how can I help?” Before Devin had a chance to respond I said, “can you get me a different husband?” The guy put his hands up in surrender and said, “sorry, I can’t help you with that!”

That got me to thinking, if Lowes really wanted to make a lot of money, then they should have an isle where a woman could go and pick out a different husband for the day! The husbands could have different degrees of tightness, for different needs and different kinds of women. They could have the really, really tight ones on one end of the isle (featuring the Devin Rohr model) then the medium tightness somewhere in the middle and then the freely giving, credit card carrying, spend thrifts on the far end of the isle. I’ll take one of those please 😉

As we walked around and looked at all of the different brands and different models and varying price ranges, I began to realize that I probably wouldn’t get the washer and dryer set of my dreams. Devin worked very hard to meet me somewhere in the middle. I don’t really like the middle…..I like RED! Anyway, I did get a matching set but they are not red…they are plain white. And they are not front loading but they are nice enough. At least I have a new washer and dyer that works…

And who knows….

Maybe I’ll get a new purse with the money he saved!!