Caleb has been saving to buy a truck for some time now. He’s only 13 so he still has a few years to wait and save…with that said, he decided with much prayer and consideration, to take a little bit of his money to buy a new BB gun and air-soft gun. I feel like we’ve had a dozen or so of these weapons at one time or another but I guess he felt he needed the latest version. Anyway, on Friday he and his dad went to their favorite store….you guessed it…Atwoods (It must be like their version of the mall or something) they obviously found what they were looking for because Caleb came home loaded for bear.
The next day was full of shootin’…nothing but shootin’. Throughout the day I heard cocking noises, pings and pangs of BB’s bouncing off of random objects and the dogs were barking with excitement…thinking that maybe, just maybe a wounded squirrel might hit the ground. I felt like I was living right smack dab in the middle of a wild west movie and Caleb was Wyatt Earp. At one point, as I was walking over to the ever growing hen house, Caleb stopped me…..holding his gun high in the air with one hand and gesturing for me to stop with the other. He said, “hold it right there ma’am, can I ask what you’re doing in these parts?” I said, “well, I’m trying to get to the hen house.” well little lady, I’m gonna have to ask you to turn around…this here is private property.” of course I just kept right on walking. “now ma’am”, he said, “you have no buisness in these parts…you just need to stop right there and head on back home” as he began to lower his gun towards me. I raised my left eyebrow and gave him a, I’m gonna shove that gun where the sun don’t shine, look….he just smiled and said, “go ahead ma’am, sorry for any inconvenience.”
The rest of the day was much the same. Shooting, pinging, cocking…on and on.
Later that evening while Devin was on the back porch…getting ready to call it a day, I overheard Caleb say something about Devin shooting at my dog Brando. When I heard this my ears perched up and I said, “what? You shot my dog?? “No”, he said, “I just shot at him.” Why would you do such a thing?, I said. “I just wanted to see what would happen”, He said, “Besides it was just the air soft…wouldn’t hurt him none.” “How do you know?” I said, “Have you ever been shot with one before?” “nope”, he replied.
He walked off the porch back out to the yard when I motioned for Caleb to hand me his gun. He looked at me and shook his head to say, no fearing I might shoot his dad….he feared right! I raised my eyebrow and gave him another, give me that gun or you’re gonna loose a limb, look….he handed it over.
Let me just say right here that I was not trying to hurt my husband. I knew that if I shot at him down at the loose part of his jeans it wouldn’t hurt….if he even felt it at all….I was just trying to make a point. Point being: DON’T SHOOT AT MY DOG!”
Devin was about 15 yards away with his back toward me when I pointed it at his jean covered legs and said, “well, why don’t we just try it on you first and see how it feels!” He turned around with a big, do it if you dare, grin on his face and preceeded to walk back up on the porch, turned his behind to me and bent over.
In an instant I thought several things:
1. He’s daring me.
2. He must know that it won’t hurt or he wouldn’t be bent over daring
me to shoot right now.
3. The name of the gun has the words “air” and “soft” in it which
translates in Tonya world as “not” and “painful”
It all happend so fast…before I knew it, I had pulled the trigger and popped him right in the behind….just like he wanted! As soon as that yellow plastic BB hit him he jumped and grabbed his behind and said, “OUCH! That hurt!”
Oops! I thought. “Did that really hurt? You said it wouldn’t hurt!” I said. “well, I was wrong”, he said as he rubbed his back side, “that had a sting to it for sure” then he preseeded to show us the red mark as proof. Yep, there it was….a big red mark….oops 🙂
We learned a few things that day.
First, don’t shoot at my dog.
Second, don’t shoot at my husband.
Third, dont dare me.
Fourth, the words “air” and “soft” are misleading.
Fifth, sometimes Devin is wrong and sometimes he is fun….who knew 😉
And that’s how it happened, the shot heard ’round the world (yard).