About six months ago I read an informative article about roosters. At that time Earl was still a very young and immature rooster. He was not threatened by me or the kids, he wasn’t cocky or mean, he didn’t even have spurs yet, but Devin assured me, one day, he would probably flog me. I had no idea what flogging was or why Earl would feel the need to do such a thing, so I did what any red-blooded-country-girl-wanna-be would do. I googled it 😉

In my search I found an interesting article with some practical steps on how to deal with a flogging rooster.

1. Put them in the oven
2. Catch them and pen them to the ground for a few minutes
3. Chase them around the yard for at least five minutes with a big stick to let them know who’s boss.

Well, as time went on it was clear that Earl loved me dearly and would never jump on me….and he never did. Now Earl is rooster heaven and Elvis has taken his place. As I stated in my last post, Elvis did try to intimidate me right after we got him. He took a step at me and I yelled at him and told him I’d knock his head off…it was a short and uneventful come-to-Jesus-meetin’…then we went back to being friends.

As I was telling Devin the story about Elvis and our little spat he said, “you better find a big stick and take it in the yard with you, and remember don’t ever turn you back on him cuz he’ll getcha”. “Na, he won’t get me”, I said, “he loves me because I give him treats, but if he tries, I know how to take care of it”. Devin smiled and said, “oh ya do huh? How’s that?” “well”, I said, “I will chase him around the yard for five minutes straight, swinging a big stick and yelling at them…that’ll show him who’s boss!”

Caleb, my thinker and analyzer, said with a concerned look on his face, “mom, I don’t want to hurt your feelings but, can you even run for five minutes?”

At that moment I wanted to get the biggest stick I could find and chase HIM for five minutes!

“boy!” I said, with my best stern rooster fighting voice, “yes I can run for five minutes! And you’re fixin’ to see it first hand when I kick your hind end all over this property! He just smiled and said, “I’m sorry momma, I just didn’t know you could run that long.”

To be perfectly honest I wasn’t 100% sure I could run for five minutes but when I was finished with him, he believed I could.

Fast forward to today, 9:05 AM.

I had a full day ahead of me with a meal for 130 that I had to shop and cook for. I got myself ready, packed my cooking supplies and ran out the door. When I got into the car I remember some old rolls I was going to give the chickens, so I went back in to grab them and drove over to the chicken yard.

When I drove up, Elvis immediately began to flap his wings really big and crow with all his might, just like every other time I have gone over. As I walked in the gate I talked to them as usual. “hey everybody! Hey Elvis! Are y’all starving? Do you want a treat?” I held out a roll to let the chickens and Elvis eat out of my hand. Lucy and Penny were the first in line. Then I held out a piece to Elvis, after staring at it for a minute he finally took a piece out of my hand. I stood back up and turned around to get some more bread when I felt it!

I had been flogged!

I felt a force hit the back of my knees and heard a loud commotion. When I turned around to see what it was, there stood Elvis tall and defiant, ready to go at me again. I immediately remembered what the article had said.

Show him who’s boss.

At that moment he took another step at me and I yelled, “boy I’ll knock your head off! Don’t you ever do that to me again! I aint havin’ me a mean rooster!” then I began to kick his butt all over that yard. I would kick…and he would come right back at me…I would kick again…and he would come back for more…I’d kick again…he’d come back again. After about five good butt kickins he finally caught on and began to run from me. After I chased him around the yard a time or two, I went to the shed and grabbed the biggest stick I could find.

When I got back in the yard, I picked up where I left off with the chasing. I was not about to leave that yard without him knowing that I was the boss NOT HIM! As I entered the yard I started swinging at him with the stick and yelling to the top of my lungs. I’m surprised somebody didn’t call 911 thinking a crime was taking place. I guess if you call a rooster getting his butt kicked a crime…then I’m guilty.

Here’s my war wound. You should see the other guy…

When it was all said and done, Elvis ran like a chicken and hid in the hen-house, and I looked like, and felt like I had just finished a five K. My legs were weak and shaky, I was sweaty, my hair was a mess and I was completely out of breath. I’m pretty sure I didn’t run for five minutes….and I’m not real sure I could have…but nobody needs to know that but us chickens 😉

Later that afternoon I went back over to the chickens to see if Elvis was still licking his wounds. He didn’t come anywhere near me and he didn’t crow once. That the first time he hasn’t crowed at me.

Me and Elvis struck a deal that day. He acts nice and I let him live 😉

Thanks for reading! A special shout out to Christian Myers for being a faithful reader. Maybe you can get your friend Colton to read it some time 🙂