She Found Her Brave
June 13, 2017. 11:00 am. Checotah, Oklahoma.
Not a day or place I will soon forget.
Three days before, June 10, was a happy, busy, fun filled day. It was the day our youngest daughter, Cassady, married her high school sweetheart. 250 of our closest friends and family gathered from all over the tri-state area to help us celebrate this joyous occasion. The bride was stunning, the decorations were perfect and the food was plentiful. Pure joy surrounded me at every turn, yet, in the deepest most secret part of my mother’s heart, there was sadness, an ache that the joy could not reach.
That’s what happens to a mother heart when one of her babies is struggling with ‘something’.
It hurts. Physically hurts.
My baby was Kelsey and her ‘something’ was addiction.
We had known for some time that she was struggling with multiple issues. As her parents, we talked, worried, pleaded to God for wisdom, sought council many times, cried a million tears and prayed a thousand prayers for her protection and ultimate freedom. For years I watched as she struggled and prayed that God will bring back the Kelsey that was given to me so many years ago. That bright eyed, full of life, joy filled, talent packed, fearless and brave girl that God designed her to be. I knew He would answer my prayers, I just knew it. I just didn’t know when or how. Fortunately, I didn’t need to know, I just needed to trust. But sometimes that the hardest part.
A few weeks before the wedding, Kelsey came to the house to help me prepare for the big day. After a while, we found ourselves sitting on the porch swing drinking sweet tea and enjoying each other’s company, which had not happened often the past few years. Soon our conversation took a serious turn when she said, “Mom, there’s something I need to talk to you about”. I don’t know about you, but when one of my kids start a sentence with those words, I panic a little on the inside. At that moment, I whispered a silent prayer. Dear Lord, please help me handle whatever is coming next and help me be the best mom I can be for her. AMEN. “ok”, I said, “what’s going on?”
Her voice was shaky and weak, her eyes began to puddle and a blanket of dread came across her face as she said, “Mom, I am checking myself into teen challenge for women.” In that instant, I knew God was right smack dab in the middle of this and that He was answering this momma’s prayers and the prayers of so many others. From experience, I knew I had to be very calm in my response to her as I replied, “ok, well I think that’s a great idea honey, tell me all about it.” The tears began to fall for both of us as she opened up about her struggles. About the years of fear, anger, anxiety, depression, addictions and all around unhappiness. Years of believing the lie. The lie that she was somehow not enough. A lie that the enemy had planted a long time ago. But now…that lie was in the process of being exposed!!
As the conversation continued, I learned her decision had been in the making for some time. She had already completed the paperwork, background checks and blood work that was required to enter the program. She had been in constant contact with the leadership there and was already in the final steps of approval.
This is the point where I need to give praise to God for another answer to prayer. I have prayed many times, if my kids ever got to the point where they would not listen to me or Devin that God would put trustworthy people in their life they would listen to. He answered that prayer by placing three incredible, caring, and godly woman in her life. All of them had been friends of mine for years so I trusted them completely. They are the ones that directed her to this amazing program and for that, I am FOREVER grateful! As an added bonus, (what I like to call a ‘god wink’) I found out the center she would be going to was Freedom House in Checotah, Oklahoma. Just the year before, I was privileged to go there with a group of women from our church to help beautify their grounds as a mission project. After we were finished, we were given a tour of their facilities and an overview of the ministry they provide to woman in crisis. I remember coming home that evening telling Devin about how impressed I was with the program there and how amazing the staff was. Little did I know that my own daughter would be there just a year later. As a result, I was able to tell Kelsey that I had been there and how wonderful it was. That provided much comfort to us both.
Even though we knew this was EXACTLY where she was supposed to be, it was still hard knowing our girl would be gone for a year. Devin and I drove her there the morning of her admittance. As we approached the center, the tension grew. The heaviness of reality was almost unbearable, and seeing the fear on her face was nearly more than I could bare. Making our way up the steps of the historic 110-year-old building, I could see yet another blessing waiting for us just inside the door. A beautiful piece of art, hand drawn by one of the women in the program, welcoming Kelsey to Freedom House. My fears melted like warm butter as we opened the door to an army of women eager to meet Kelsey and welcome her in. And On June 13th, 2017 Kelsey Rohr found her brave and walked over the threshold toward freedom.
After all the necessary paperwork had been signed and instructions were given, we hugged, kissed, cried and prayed as we said our final good byes. As we walked back down those same steps, leaving her behind, a flood of tears and emotions overcame me. Will she be ok? Could I have done more? Where did it all go wrong? I quickly recognized what the enemy was trying to do. He was trying to bring fear and doubt back into the equation, so I came back with MORE praise and thanksgiving for what God is doing and going to do in Kelsey’s life. I KNOW she is exactly where she is supposed to be and I KNOW God has great plans for her. But let’s be honest here, as moms, it’s so hard watching our kids struggle with the realities of life.
Last week we were able to see her for the first time during one of our monthly visits. And OH MY! What a transformation that has already taken place! She looked so good and sounded even better. Her complete freedom and healing are full steam ahead. During our four-hour visit, I asked if there was anyone that she wanted me to tell about her decision to go Freedom House. Up to this point, only a hand full of people knew. She pondered for a moment and replied, “Yes, I want everyone to know. Please write a post telling everyone where I am. I want my entire church behind me, supporting me and helping me pray.”
So, at her request, you have been given a glimpse into her story thus far, with the best part of her story yet to come. Devin and I would like to personally thank those of you who have loved and supported our family over the years and to thank you in advance for your prayers where Kelsey is concerned.
THE TAKE AWAY FROM THIS POST:
Parenting is hard work.
Parenting adult children is even harder.
We can’t ever stop fighting for our kids. Keep praying. Keep believing.
Love unconditionally. Even when it’s hard.
Don’t carry your burdens in secret. Take all your burdens to Him. He’s big. He can take it.
Finally…It’s not your fault. You’re a good mom.
If you would like to know more about Teen Challenge and the services they offer, please click here for more info.
Thank you for reading. IU!
Tonya, I too have a son that has struggled with addiction the majority of his life. Oh the tears I have cried, the questions I have asked of myself, him and God. Unfortunately my sons addiction caused him to do some things that landed him in prison.put He wasn’t sure he wanted me to see him in prison, but I knew I had to. He had been beaten up by a gang at the first prison he was at, so I had to at least put my hands on him. I got to hug him for the first time in a year. It was hard seeing those bars and prison fences with the wire on top, the guards with guns, and it was oh so hard to leave him there. It didn’t help when he said Momma I wish I was leaving with you. He has been opiate free for a year, and says he has learned his lesson and will not be around anyone doing drugs. My prayer is that he will stick to this. I too have prayed for someone to come into his life and provide him with some spiritual guidance. So that he can actually see a Godly man or woman (other than myself and my husband) in action, as we both know sometimes those closest to the addict are the least likely to help. So with that I will be praying for your family and your daughter, and I am asking that you do the same for Mark and our family.
Thank you for sharing this! I am the mother of an adult son who struggles with addiction. I love him with every fiber of my being, but when I look at friends whose children are serving God the guilt overwhelms me and I begin to question what I did wrong. I needed this more than you know. Thank you, and I will be praying for Kelsey.
We’re behind her, support her, and are praying for complete healing and success!! I’m so glad you shared so we can stand with her and know how to pray. Love you all.
I love sweet Kelsey. While my heart hurts for her and for you, I know God’s ways are bigger than our ways. I am so very proud of Kelsey for taking this giant step to freedom. He WILL finish this good work! Thanks for sharing with us. You know she will always be in my thoughts and prayers, as will her precious Mom and Dad. Thank you, God, for your beckoning call on Kelsey’s life. Love you, Friend.
Tonya, thank you so much for writing this. I of course had no idea that Kelsey was having any struggles and I’m so sorry to hear that. She is such a smart amazing girl, and I’m so proud of her for taking his huge step to help herself. Please know I will be joining the church family in praying for her and her healing! I still love following all of you on fb and miss you all!
I LOVE this, love her and am SO proud of her! Send her hugs and will be praying for her! Can’t wait to hear her testimony unfold
I can’t help but be excited for this journey Kelsey is on!! She will be not just successful, she will be IMPOWERED serve to in God’s army! She will not be on the sidelines watching, but she will be in the thick of battle- fearless and strong! I’m so proud of her!!!
Tonya,
I am going through a very similar situation. My daughter who is 27 entered a teen challenge house 1 year ago. She has gone through such a positive transformation. One that I could not provide. Because children stop listening to their parents. I am happy to tell you she will be graduating from the program next month. I am counting down the days that I get my daughter back.
Trust in the Lord. I thank God for answering our prayers.
Janet
I will be praying for my girl Kelsey. She has a special place in my heart having spent time with her as a little girl. Yes, it’s hard work being a MOM and at times it’s hard to turn them over to God’s care completely.
I will always remember sweet little Kelsey loving to check out my “jewry”. Life brings some hard knocks, but God is faithful & we are safe trusting in Him. Kelsey is in my prayers. Mama & Daddy are too!
I am beyond proud of Kelsey for being brave to take this first step. Praying for continued strength to overcome the lies the enemy has placed on her life and for her to truly see the beautiful daughter of the King she is. God has big things in store for you Kelsey, love you BIG!! ❤️
God is writing His precious story in Kelsey. We are so proud of her. She is so brave. Praying for her and all of you, too. Love you all!
SO proud of Kelsey. I’m proud of her for seeking wisdom, for listening to wise counsel, for taking the initiative, and for being vulnerable. There’s a LOT of BRAVE going on in that girl! One thing I know about Kelsey is that she is a fighter; and with a God that keeps promises and His followers doing spiritual warfare for her, she cannot lose. Love you, Kelsey! Thank you for letting us into your world and letting us bless you on our knees. You are SO worth it!
I can’t tell you how proud I am of Kelsey and how brave I think she is for making this decision. When mom told me, I couldn’t help but know that God was in this all the way. Praise the Lord for ordering these steps! I can’t wait for Kelsey to be the grown-up version of that bright-eyed, quick to laugh, creative, sweet, gorgeous little girl that she will always be to me. Love you guys and praying for Kelsey!
So proud of her. What a tough step to take…and she did it!! God is going to do amazing things in her and I can’t wait to see her in a year! What a testimony she will have! I will be praying for you, as you walk this journey as her momma.
Thank the Lord she’s doing great! Its hard not being able to text her to ask hows shes doing and make sure the other girls are being nice to her but I’m so thankful she’s thriving. Crying happy tears at your update cuz I’m so proud of her and happy she’s doing well! If it’s not too much trouble let her know that her friends love and miss her and are rooting for her with all our hearts and prayers. I can’t wait to see this already wonderful woman become who she is truly meant to be without that weight on her shoulders. I love you best friend and miss you terribly but I know in my heart you’re going to do amazing there. Let that light within you grow each day until the darkness that plagues us all is blinded by its radiance and cast out. You’ve got this girl cuz you’re the strongest person I have ever had the fortune to know. Be brave and carry all our love with you!
Kelsey,
What an amazing and brave young woman that you are. I have never had the privilege of meeting you but I have known your Dad and Mom for several years. God has something so great in store for you. Your road isn’t easy but you are facing it with such courage and strength. Your testimony is going to reach many lives around this country and help give the strength to so many to take that step toward getting the help they need to fight many different addictions.
Even though I don’t struggle with an addiction I do struggle daily with another situation and I wonder many times if God even hears or cares about me and what we are going through. Today was one of those days but after ready the post you gave your Mom permission to share – well my faith has been refreshed and I have a new strength to help me continue facing the journey that I find myself on.
God bless you and heal you physically and spiritually. I will be praying for you.
Tonya,
What a beautiful post! I love Kelsey and I am so proud of her courage! I pray for her and you as a momma daily! I pray the year flies by and the joys of the future begin to flourish! I miss her and can’t wait to see her again!
I support you, Kelsey, in your journey. May you learn, appreciate what God is building within you, and share with great confidence that God can and will complete His good purpose in you. Tonya, my prayers will continue to be for you and your family. I love you.