When you have been married to someone for 25 years you learn a lot about that person. One thing that I have learned about Devin is he is almost always right, nauseatingly right. This drives me crazy! Really! The thing that drives me crazy the most is that he is so calm and humble about it! If it were me, I would be telling everyone ” I told ya so!” Not him tho, he just states the fact and then waits, patiently, for the facts to reveal that he was, indeed, right! (did I mention how much I hate that?)
Now that we have established the fact, Devin is always right, let me get to the REAL reason for this post.
On Saturday, we were getting ready for some friends to come over for dinner. In an effort to tidy things up, Devin stepped out on to the back porch to sweep it off and clean up where the dogs had been. He hadn’t been out there no time when he stuck his head in the door and yelled, “who stepped in the poop?”
When no one answered immediatle he began to call names. “Cassady! Come here!”‘ he said, “did you do this?”, pointing to the pile of poop smeared on the back porch. “No”, she said, “Caleb did!” (way to throw your little brother under the bus) Devin came in and headed toward Calebs room. He opened the door and said, with all confidence, “Caleb, you tracked dog poop all over the back porch so now you need to go and clean it up!” Caleb immediatly began to plead his innocence. Then Kelsey came out of her room to see what was going on, then he turned his accusations toward her.
I could see this was getting ready to get out of control real fast, so I stepped in and asked, “what’s all the commotion about?”
“Somebody stepped in dog poop and smeared it all over the porch and then just left it there for someone else to clean up, and I aim to find out who that someone is!”, he said.
The interrogation continued on for a few more minutes when Kelsey said, “let’s look at the footprint, then we will have a clue to who might have done this”. ( ok, she has been watching way too many murder mystery shows on tv). She walked out there and said, “it looks like a boot to me dad…..YOUR boot.” (uh oh, watch it now) Devin then said, ” well, I can guarantee you ONE thing, I didn’t step in it! (remember he is always right so none of us questioned him).
When the trial was over, and the verdict was in, poor little Caleb was found guilty, on circumstantial evidence alone. (The system is clearly flawed). Devin said, ” Caleb, go clean it up, and you will need something to scoop it up with.” Then he walks over to the kitchen, opens a drawer and reaches for a spatula!!! ( there is fixin’ to be another trial and he is gonna get the death penalty!) I said, ” if you want to live to see tomorrow, you will put that spatula down and walk away, slowly, and out of my kitchen! ( there’s a new sheriff in town)
He went to the shop and found something for poor, guilty, Caleb to clean up the mess with and all was good on the home front once again…….or was it?
About an hour later, after Devin had walked all over the house, he plopped down in his easy chair, threw up the leg rest and prepared for a well deserved and overdue nap. Suddenly, his head popped up and he threw his nose in the air like an old hound dog and proclaimed, “I smell poop!!!” With that said, and a sheepish look on his face, he pulled his foot up to take a look. sure enough……there it was…..dog poop! Kelsey jumped up with her finger pointed and said, “I was right! It was your boot print! And you were W-R-O-N-G!
As for Caleb, all charges were dropped but he is considering a law suit for pain and suffering. 😉