I prayed the same prayer every day, for a year.

Lord, thank you bringing Devin into my life, I love him so much and can’t imagine life with him. I believe with all my heart that he is the one you have for me and I want to spend the rest of my life being his wife, but more than that, I want to please you and follow your perfect will. I feel he’s the right one, but if I am wrong, and he is not the one you want for me, just tell me and I will break up with him tomorrow. I promise. Amen.

As much as I loved Devin, my love for God was greater. I was serious when I prayed and God knew it. Every time I prayed, I listened. I never heard Him say, “no”.

Before I knew it, the evening of June 28th, 1985 had rolled around. The eve of our wedding. It would be the last time I would pray the prayer that had become all too familiar. I was exhausted from wedding preparations, anxious for the next day and giddy with excitement. Ready for this new chapter in my life with the man of my dreams. Yet again I prayed and listened intently as I had done so many times before. Again, He didn’t say, “no” so I took that as a yes. I smiled, took in a deep breath of satisfaction and whispered, “thank you Jesus. Thank you for giving him to me. He’s perfect!”

Today I celebrate 30 years of marriage with that same man and I love him more today than I ever have!

Has it always been perfect? Absolutely not!
Are there times I want to pinch his head off and spit in the hole? You betcha!
Have I ever felt like hopping the next train to anywhere but here? Oh yeah.
Have I ever doubted the decision I made to marry him? Do I ever wonder if I made a mistake? NEVER! Not for one minute!

Through 30 years, four kids, 2 miscarriages, endless number of dogs and cats, 7 houses, 6 career changes, family heartbreak and loss there is one thing that has never wavered. Our love and commitment for each other. If everything round us crumbles, as long as we have each other, that’s all that really matters.

While there are many big moments in our years together, like bringing a new baby home, buying our first house, watching our kids launch, marring our oldest off, or welcoming a new grand baby into the world, these moments are special indeed, but it’s the little moments that are the glue. The little things that no one ever sees or knows about. That’s  what keeps a marriage going. Those little things scream I love you!

For example:

After a long hard day Devin had gone to bed. I stayed up a few hours more doing my usual cooking and cleaning. Soon thereafter, I finally hit a wall and decided to go to bed too. When I crawled in beside him I realized my toes were freezing. I was so tempted to put my toes on his toasty warm body but didn’t want to wake him. I for one would HATE to be awakened by cold feet on my back! So, instead, I decided to see just how close I could get my toes to his body without waking him up. Slowly, inch by inch, I moved my feet towards him without actually touching him. Closer and closer I moved under the covers not knowing how close I was actually getting. I finally felt warmth, but continued to inch closer, when suddenly my ice cube toes touched his leg. He jumped and I froze, hoping he wouldn’t wake up. Suddenly he grabbed my foot with a firm grip. Oh crap, I thought, I woke him! Then he ever so slightly lifted his leg are gently placed my toes underneath and whispered, “IU”. It’s a little thing with big results.

I love when I walk in his office, he stops what he’s doing, winks at me and says “hey good lookin'”. Then he turns his chair around and motions for me to come sit in his lap. It’s just a few seconds of undivided attention with long- term results.

I also love what he doesn’t do. He doesn’t puts me down or belittle me in any way. When I wreck the car or get a speeding ticket he doesn’t make me feel worse. If I lock my keys in the car, drop my phone in the toilet, run out of gas on the highway, overdraw the account, drive off with my purse on the car, forget to make a deposit or bring home a stray cat…the list goes on and on…he never looses his temper or control. He is just a strong quiet presence. That screams love!

This morning, I rolled over in bed as he was getting ready to leave. He leaned over, kissed me and said, “happy thirty years!” I smiled a sleepy grin and replied, “we made it didn’t we!” “Yes we did”. Then she smiled, gave my behind a squeeze and said, “IU!”

It’s the little things…

I smiled, took a deep breath of satisfaction and whispered, “thank you Jesus, thank you for giving him to me.
He’s perfect!”

I love you Devin Rohr!! Thank you for loving me no matter what, in big ways and little ways. Thank you for being everything I am not, for being my rock and the calm in my storm. And thank you Jesus for saying yes.